Logic Does Not Apply
by Let's See How Far We've Come
Summary: A few besties find a box of odd puppies. Very Simple yes?Let the chaos rain down from the heavens... T for obvious reason, disclaimer on profile.
1. Chapter 1

**Logic Does Not Apply**

**Chapter 1: Is It Possible To Fall Up?**

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The beginning of Spring Break (Jashin forbids it to be Summer Break yet…Jerk) is always kind of fun, but after about 2 or 3 days it gets boring as fucking hell. Doesn't help that my parents have left me all alone because they somehow came up with the idea of 'Starting their relationship anew.' or some shit like that and they left me for a several months to go on a second honeymoon. They won't be coming back until the start of next year, my senior year, and my school gets out at the end of May which is about a half a month away now.

Naturally people would think 'What the hell are your parents on!' or 'I wish they were my parents!' Funny thing too, they're overprotective and absolutely paranoid. My dad has multiple guns, varying from Smith & Weston Revolver to the good ol' regular shot gun my grandpa gave him, at least 5,000 rounds and multiple melee weapons. All of them I know how to use. He also has a three week supply of food and water at the ready too. Up until last year I've had no social life outside off school, at all.

My parent gave me permission have my best friends over for the whole time or as long as their parents said it was ok for. So now me, Kayla and Mariah are all sitting in my living room bored out of our damn minds. Mariah and Kayla just got done playing some war game on my X-Box 360 and we officially have nothing to fucking do! That's when we heard a knocking sound.

"Did anybody hear that?" Kayla spoke up from her position on the floor. I nodded as did Mariah then I got up and opened the door. There was nobody there at all. I glared at the empty space. Only idiots ding-dong-ditch people anymore. That's when I looked down to see a rather large cardboard box, it was a little beaten up but it was still quite large. I tried to pick it up but it was too heavy for me to do it alone.

"Hey you lazy idiots help me pick this thing up!" I yelled at the lazy trio sitting around my living room like they fucking owned the place, the bastards...Kayla got up while the Mariah stayed were she was. Together me and Kayla brought the box inside and into the middle of the living room.

"What the hell is in this thing...?" I heard Kayla mumble/growl and she says that **I **need temper adjustments... Mariah came into the living room from the kitchen with a knife, when she left I have no idea, and started cutting the tape off the top. All four of us pulled one of the flaps and were shocked to see ten fluffy little puppies that seemed to have been dyed. No seriously just like in one of those fucking fanfics the puppies were all dyed like the Akatsuki.

"Let's get rid of them." Was the first thing I said. No way in hell am I letting my life turn into some fucked up fanfiction, nuh-uh no way in hell. Mariah and Kayla looked at me in shock. The puppies seemed to glare at me and I glared right back.

"But they're just harmless puppies! And they must have been abused hell just look at their fur, they must have been dyed! Webby, please can we keep 'em!" My glare turned to Kayla, the absolute dog lover of our group followed closely by Sam, another friend of ours who isn't here at the moment. She grabbed a silver-ish gray, almost white, puppy from the box and held him close. "Look how fucking adorable they are! There must have been a reason why Jashin let these puppies be left at your door!" The puppy's head shot up to look at her it what seemed like surprise. That ain't normal puppy behavior.

"Put the fluffy fiend back in the box and come with me, both of you." Kayla sighed and did what she was told. I led them into the joined kitchen and closed to wooden separator that was there before I decided to get serious. Mariah looked me straight in the eyes.

"You don't seriously think that this is like the fanfictions do you?" She asked in all seriousness. I nodded in response and was about to say something but was cut off.

"And if it isn't like a fanfiction?" Mariah cut in. I gave her a 'Are you really that stupid look?'

"Then you guys can take care of them, I don't like living things near me just having you all here is putting me at the end of my rope. Any and all responsibilities for the puppies are on you and I will not tolerate any messes, understand?" They both perked up and nodded extremely fast, I'm surprised they didn't get any whiplash. They bolted to the divider and ran to the puppies.

They carefully picked the puppies out of the box and set them down on to the carpet. I sat down on the coach and rested my head in my hand. My damn headache refuses to go away and my constant inability to sleep makes it worse. I almost didn't notice a puppy jumping up on to the couch and into my lap. There's no doubt in my mind just which member of the Akatsuki this puppy would be, the Kill-Me-Orange face made it very obvious. I looked up at my friends who were giving me strange look.

"What?" Kayla rolled her eyes at me.

"We're waiting for you to name him, idiot." I looked at her then Tobi-Puppy then back at her and then back to the puppy.

"But why?" I said/whined rather childishly. Insert group facepalm.

"Just name the damn thing already!" Kayla shouted and flailed at the same time earning some looks from the puppies. I sighed.

"Alright I will chill out." I looked back down at the puppy and stared at him for all of 30 seconds before an evil grin made its way to my face..."I dub the Kill-Me-Orange faced puppy Spots." I got some mixed expressions from my friends and what one would call a 'Puppy Glare of Doom' from the newly dubbed Spots.

"Why the fucking hell would you name him Spots!" Kayla asked, okay yelled would be more accurate but the message would still be the same. I shrugged in response.

"I've always kinda wanted to name a dog Spots." Blunt lie but that's okay. Kayla doesn't really know anything about Naruto or the Akatsuki and she doesn't read fanfiction either. She wouldn't be able to realize the name 'Spots' and 'Madara' are pretty much the same thing just different languages. Mariah and Kayla made no comment but it wasn't needed. The main person I wanted a reaction from was the puppy in my lap. Needless to say I got what I wanted. I patted said puppy on the head while grinning.

"Sorry you'll have to deal with the name, M-" I cut myself off. Sam and Mariah raised an eyebrow at me.

"What were you about to say?" They asked at the same time. I looked sheepishly to the right, fun fact: always look to the right because if you look to the left people will know your lying.

"...Menace..." They rolled their eyes and Kayla gasped and glared.

"How could you be so mean to these poor puppies!" She yelled while hugging the closest puppy to her (poor little white-ish silver thing, it's probably Hidan so I bet he's enjoying it). I gave her a blank stare.

"I don't like anything living as I've explained to you before" I deadpanned. She still glared. "I have a rather long, colorful and multi-language list of things I _could _call them instead if you wish..."Kayla just shook her head and facepalmed while I just laughed, Mariah was busy having a staring contest with a pure black puppy to really care about anything else. "Well I think the others need to be named don't ya agree?" That got all of their attention.

"I'll go first if you want." Mariah said while holding up a extremely bright red puppy that was also the smallest. Definitely Sasori-dana..."I think I'll name him...Okay I don't know what to name him...So he shall be named George." Sasori-George looked at Sam like she was fucking insane after she put him down. Then he went to the dark corner of my house to sulk... Next was Mariah's black puppy who was Itachi no doubt.

"Itachi." She said plain as day and without hesitation. We all gave her a questioning look. "He just reminds me of a weasel is all." I mumbled a quick 'Bullshit!' under my breath. Tobi-puppy looked at me awkwardly out of the corner of his eye. Yes, eye, a small patch of fur was covering his other eye. It's not as long as Deidara-puppy's bangs the hung over his one eye but damn close to it.

"I don't see it..." Kayla mumbled under her breath before looking at what I believe to be Hidan-dog. "Jashin. No ifs ands or buts about it." I snickered and she glared at me. "What's so funny?" She growled. Neither of us noticed the puppy freaking out on the floor.

"I was the one who told you 'bout Jashin in the first place idiot. You take it more seriously then me too." She huffed and looks at Mariah so she could name her other cats.

"Kyo." She said happily while trying to hold back a laugh at what seemed to be Pein-Puppy. He did not like his name or being held... At all. He seemed rather relieved when she set him back down again.

"I wanna name another one..." I said and looked at Deidara-puppy. An evil, malice filled smile bloomed on my face. "He is now Kitty." I said while pointing at him. Mariah facepalmed and Kayla busted out laughing. The puppy was twitching, a lot. I have a feeling that if we ever get these criminals back to their human form I'm going to be killed.

"Very creative Webby." Kayla managed to say between her laughs.

"I know right!" Now all three of us burst of laughing. I look over at the only female puppy, Konan-puppy. "I think her name should be Tenshi." The other nodded their heads in agreement.

"Oreo." Kayla said pointing to what would be Zetsu-puppy. Then she turned to Mariah who was poking Kisame-puppy.

"I think we'll name him Kisame." She said and I nodded then turned to Kakuzu-puppy.

"He'll be Check." Kayla said while pulling Jashin away from Check as the two were fighting.

"We have Spots, Oreo, Jashin, Itachi, Kisame, Tenshi, Kyo, Kitty, George, and Check…." I said out load but in my head I stated quite clearly 'We have Tobi, Zetsu, Hidan, Itachi, Kisame, Konan, Pein, Deidara, Sasori, and Kakuzu. All in a puppy form…' I can draw only one conclusion from this.

"Shit just got real."


	2. Chapter 2

**Logic Does Not Apply**

**Chapter 2: Oh My...**

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I plan to make the Akatsuki-puppy's lives hell now. Mostly Deidara and Hidan, those bastards are trying to do everything they can to piss me off I swear! Barking and running and fighting and living! I can understand Deidara, I fucking named him 'Kitty' for fucksake, but Hidan...Immortal bastard is gonna get it when we becomes human again I swear. Maybe I should test his puppy immortalness with the garbage disposal...

"Sam, stop planning Kitty and Jashin's demise." Kayls said while playing with Hidan-puppy. I looked up from my laptop to glare at her. Some of the Aka-Puppies gave me a weird look.

"I don't have to listen to you." Was all I said before I began typing again. Bluntly ignoring the looks I pulled out some earmuffs and decided to tempt fate by playing one of the most annoying songs ever- Superstar.

"BITCH IF YOU DON'T FUCKING TURN THAT SHIT OFF NOW I'M GONNA FUCKING SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN WITH A JASHIN DAMNED MOTHER FUCKING SPORK!" Kayla screamed before lunging at me. Sadly the table got in my way of escape and she got hold of my laptop thus successfully managing to turn the YouTube song off. I glared at everyone from under the table.

"I hate you all...A lot." Mariah and Kayla just roll their eyes and I swear that Kayla added some cuss words with threats under her breath. I looked at the very confused Aka-Puppies. "This tends to happen very often so get used to it brats." Tobi-puppy barked then looked at Sasori-puppy and Deidara-puppy before Deidara puppy punced on him. I blinked. If I didn't know better Tobi-puppy must've said somethin' along the lines of "She used Sasori-sempai's word!"

"Aren't you going to stop them?" Kayla asked. I just looked at her like the idiot she is.

"Nope." Was all I said in response. Then I went back to watching Deidara-puppy try to kill Tobi-puppy. Then fun ended when Pein-puppy barked at them and they stopped. "You all are boring y'know that?" I turned to Zetsu-puppy who crawled under the table with me...He bit me...I giggled."Sorry puppy pain makes me laugh."

"Fucking masochist.." I heard Kayla mumble. Zetsu-puppy let go off my hand and was I able to turn and look at Kayla.

"I may be a little less sane then others but you can't deny I'm the smart one of the group." I got a 'Dude...WTF!' look from Kayla and the puppies (for different reasons no doubt) then a laugh out of Mariah.

"A little less sane? You've stated yourself you'd love nothing more to see humanity destroyed and the Earth burn! You-" I cut her off mid-rant before she could say some other incriminating things.

"I admit I said that in all honesty along with the only thing that stops me from pushing any of you in front of a bus for my own twisted amusement is my self-control. Besides the trully insane never actually admit that they are in fact insane do they not?" Kayla gave me another 'WTF' look before going back to playing with the puppies. Mariah just laughed and shaked her head.

"You haven't lost a drop of insanity since we first met, though I'm surprised you haven't hit your head yet..." She looked at me from my position under the table with amusement in her eyes.

"If anything Webby got even more bat-shit psychotic...I that's even possible..." Kayla commented before shaking her head and laying on her back. "Hey Sam you know you have to pass PE class in order to graduate right?" I glared at her.

"Well if that bitch Mrs. Casey would leave me the fuck alone for swimming and just transfer me to another fucking class I would fucking pass! The bitch hates me...More than she hates you and THAT is something to consider! She didn't hate me until that little altercation with that lying, two-faced, preppy, stuck-up, fat, good-for-nothing, goody-two-shoes whore Rachel! It is common knowledge in our year and above that I HATE SWIMMING! I hate it more then Tweetybird at Six Flags when one of those people dressed up as him kidnapped me as a child! I can swim fine the bitch just hates me!" Kayla and Maiah blinked at my little rant. The puppies looked at me as if I'm the craziest person they've ever met and went back to doing whatever.

"Just get a doctor's note..." Kayla mumbled under her breath before she started antagonizing Hidan-puppy. I hn'd then crawled from out uunder the table (nearly banging my head, nearly) after which I was met by Pein-puppy.

"Hey guys..." I spoke allowed. A collective sound of 'what' was my response. "For some odd reason...I really wanna kick this puppy..." With that Igot a shocked then pissed off look from Pein-puppy who was then barking and glaring at all the other 'laughing' puppies, all but Konan anyways.

"SAM! DON'T YOU DARE KICK HIM!" Kayla screeched and I seriously flinched while having flashback of a girl with pink hair...I shivered then turned to Kayla.

"I was joking chill...Besides if you screech like that again I really will kick your ass, as you seem to forget that this is my house and I have home advantage." I stated all too calmly and coolly thus accidently reverting to my little mode they (mostly Kayla) like to call 'Mada-Mode'...It's more like an Inner like Sakura has but I HATE to compare myself to that banchee so I leave it as a 'mode'. Kayla sent a nasty glare and commented 'Bitch' under her breath before turning away from me.

"Honestly you two, best friends one minute then trying to kill each other the next!" I sent a 'Ya so?' look at Mariah who just sighed and went back to petting Itachi-puppy and Sasori-puppy. I have a slight feeling that if they get returned to their true forms my best bet is to pair her with one of those two...Kayla is obviously getting Hidan if I can get them in a room without them bitch fighting then there's Nagato and Konan who should be together...That leaves me alone and free!~...Why do I feel like I'm being wat- Oh Tobi-puppy is watching me like a hawk... well...That lil' bastard is sooo not going to ruin my shipping plans! I crouched down and glared right back at him.

"I will not lose to you."

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**Usagi-chan: Yep I'm back bitches with a new name! I'll be updating my other stories again soon so keep checking!**

**Ja ne 'ttebane!~**


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